


How To Give a Gift

by excuseme_howdareyou



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Birthday, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen, Happy Birthday Jason Todd, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22899754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excuseme_howdareyou/pseuds/excuseme_howdareyou
Summary: Jason doesn't consider himself part of the family. The family says otherwise.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 237





	How To Give a Gift

They did it again. And by ‘they’, he meant Bruce.

Jason didn’t know if he wanted to curse, sigh, or blow up the damn thing. Maybe all three? Either way, the fancy wrapped box sitting in front of his door, done up in shiny gray paper and yellow ribbon was doing way to much to fuel his anger. And the little tag on top, with just a 'B’, was a bit much.

He _just_ got off patrol, and all he wanted to do was go home, sleep for ten hours, eat his weight in chili dogs when he woke up, and enjoy an entirely Bat-free day all to himself. Was that too much to ask? So with a grumble and a glare, he nudged the box (probably full of something stupid and expensive and fancy) with his foot a good couple feet to the right.

Once the box was out of the way, Jason unlocked his front door and stepped inside. He left the present sitting outside in the hallway.

A minute later, his door opened back up again and his arm reached out. A yellow sticky note with the word “ **FREE** ” was slapped on top, then he retreated back into his apartment.

* * *

Jason was a light sleeper. He knew this. His friends knew this. _Everyone_ knew this. So who in their right mind would break into his apartment at 4am, when he’s only had two hours of sleep, and much more likely to blow someone’s head off?!

Cassandra Cain. That’s who.

Cassandra and her idiotic girlfriend Stephanie Brown. If Jason didn’t have such respect for Cass, he would’ve called them the Dumbass Duo. But that nickname was reserved for Dick Grayson and Wally West. So it was just Cassandra and the Dumbass.

Cass was the only one skilled enough to get into his apartment at 4AM. Steph was the only one dumb enough to actually do it.

“Fuck off!” Jason roared at them, leaping out of bed with the knives he kept under his pillow for exactly this kind of trespassing. Cass silently caught the knife he threw at her face, but Steph eeped and ducked at the next one that came flying at her.

“Whoa, hey!” she yelled, ducking down behind his dresser,“ We come in peace!”

Upon realizing that they _weren_ ’t ninjas/assassins/monsters/Untitled sent to kill him, Jason lowered the third projectile in his hand (his trusty laser-sharpened hunting knife) but did not put it down. “ _What_ ,” he breathed in deep, trying to blink the green away from his eyes,“ the fuck are you two doing here?”

Cass, still in her all black suit and really not making Jason feel all that better about the two of them breaking into his place in the middle of the night, hauled Steph out from her hiding place. “Umm, happy birthday?” the blonde laughed nervously and held up a purple gift bag. From… _somewhere_ , Cass produced a matching gift bag in pastel pink.

Jason could only stare incredulously at the two of them. “Get out…” he whispered.

Steph blinked,“ But aren’t you gonna-”

“GET OUT!” he roared at them.

They left, leaving the presents on the dresser.

Once they were out of sight, and Jason wasn’t seeing as much Lazarus green, he took a couple deep breaths. Then he grabbed the two gift bags, walked up to the window which they exited out through-

-and from the 21st floor, dropped both bags out the window and slammed it shut.

* * *

“Well of course he kicked you guys out!” Duke groaned, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm,“ What kind of crazy…and at 4 in the…. did it just not occur to you that breaking into someone’s bedroom in the dead of night is just kinda this side of creepy?”

Both Cass and Steph had the decency to look ashamed.

“We wanted to be the first ones to wish him happy birthday,” came Steph’s explanation,“ He hasn’t… I don’t think he’s had a birthday since he was put six feet under and dug his way back out.”

Not exactly a tactful way to say it, especially on such a sensitive matter, but… well she wasn’t wrong.

“ _And_ it’s Alfred’s birthday too,” Duke murmured thoughtfully,“ Didn’t they use to celebrate their birthdays together or something?”

From across the room, Tim piped up,“ They used to bake cakes together.”

A contemplative silence fell over the room. “No,” Tim deadpanned,“ You’re not gonna succeed in whatever you’re thinking.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Steph protested.

“But you were thinking it.”

“Thinking what?” of course, Dick chose that moment to walk in, rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

“It’s Jason’s birthday and Steph and Cass tried to give him a present but he refused to accept it,” Duke told him, as it didn’t even occur to him to _not_ mention the elephant in the room to the man who loved elephants more than anything.

At the words 'Jason’s birthday’, Dick froze and his eyes lit up. At the word 'present’, a devious smile spread over his face.

“Dick, No,” Tim directed his glare over to him.

“Dick, yes!” said man just grinned all the wider,“ It’s Little Wing’s birthday, we _should_ celebrate it!”

The energy in the room now sufficiently reignited, both he and Steph smiled widely and bounced ideas off each other.

“Birthday party?”

“Nah, too big. Family dinner?”

“We could make both him and Alfred matching cakes.”

“I’ve already got them both presents.”

“So did we. But… Jason threw ours out the window.”

“He did _what_?”

“Well can you blame him?” Tim sighed,“ Jason’s not gonna come to a birthday dinner here at the Manor, Dick.” He tried to explain, and wow it was really hard to explain this to a man who looked too much like a kicked puppy,“ He hates it here, you know that.” Jason had made it plenty and obviously clear anytime he was forced to so much as come near the place.

“And he’s not going to accept any gifts you guys give him. It’s Jason. He’s paranoid and temperamental and he’s not going to trust _anything_ that comes from us.”

Dick thought a moment, rubbing his chin in deep contemplation. Tim didn’t like that look. “So you’re saying…” Dick hummed thoughtfully,“ …that Jason will only accept a gift from someone he trusts? Someone he actually, truly considers family?”

_'Oh no,’_ was all Tim had time to think before both Dick and Steph exclaimed,“ Challenge accepted!”

“Challenge?”

Oh no, Tim thought again as Damian descended down the stairs with an intrigued expression on his face. “What challenge?” Damian demanded.

* * *

Jason straight up buried his head under his pillow when there was a persistent knocking at his door. _'Go away,’_ he pleaded and tried to fall back asleep, _’ I’m not here.’_

“I know you’re in there, Jason!” came Dick’s voice from out in the hallway,“ You can’t hide in there forever!”

_'I can, and I will,’_ Jason grumbled and rolled over.

The knocking continued.

“Fuck off, Dick!” he yelled.

“No, it’s your birthday and we’re going to celebrate!” came Dick’s reply,“ Now open up or I’m going to come in whether you like it or not.”

There was no answer, so Dick waited all of three minutes before picking the lock. (Took a couple minutes more though. Little Wing was getting good at arming electrified locks)

The apartment was empty when he got inside.

* * *

The day was hot and muggy and Jason loved it. Gotham would probably never feel as warm as the tropics (except during heat waves, but even then those were just _uncomfortable_ ) but he liked the warm and if it was sunny and warm, Jason could be found outside soaking it in.

Annoying, persistent Bats aside, not a bad day for his birthday. Last night he’d successfully taken down a small drug ring, got a couple messages on his phone from Roy and Kori wishing him happy birthday, and the Joker was locked up in Arkham. Now all that was missing was-

-Jason stopped dead in his tracks.

Tim Drake stood in front of Jason’s favorite hot dog cart, where the owner made the _best_ chili-dogs, with an almost expectant expression his face.

Part of Jason -a large part- wanted to spin on his heel and just march away from Tim and his stupid face and everything else Bat. But his stomach was protesting loudly and he mentally swore at Dick because he hadn’t had a chance to grab breakfast before fleeing out his own bedroom window.

“I hate you,” he hissed as he passed Tim entirely to get him some chili-dogs.

Tim didn’t look too upset about it. “Mmhmm,” he hummed, as if didn’t believe a word Jason said. “So who’s all harassed you so far?” he asked.

“Including you?” Jason added with a glare,“ Dick, Cass, Steph, and Bruce.”

That last one seemed to surprise the brat. “Bruce stopped by to see you already?” he blinked,“ I thought he was still asleep.”

Jason took a bite of one of his three chili-dogs (’ _ **The** best chili dogs in town_.’) and very purposely didn’t offer one to Tim. “Left a present on my doorstep,” he answered and walked away. Tim, the asshole, kept in step with him. Though Jason took a little glee in the fact that for every one of his steps, Tiny Tim had to take two.

“What’d he get you?” Tim asked, genuinely curious,“ It’s always something stupidly practical and mission-related. Last year he got Dick a thermal insulated Nightwing suit with built in heaters.”

Jason shrugged. “Dunno. I put a ‘free’ sticker on it and left it outside.” So yeah, that had definitely been taken by some stranger already.

“And I heard you threw Cass and Steph’s presents out the window.”

Finishing off the last of his first chili-dog, Jason turned and gave Tim the stink eye. “And if you try to do anything for my birthday, I’m gonna throw _you_ out the window.”

Tim just scoffed; not like it would be the first time. “Sorry, you’re not on my list of 'People I Buy Presents For’,” he replied,“ But I suppose I _do_ have some kind of birthday gift for you…”

At Jason’s groan of despair and annoyance, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Just a warning, you drama queen,” Tim added,“ Dick and Steph sorta… made it into a competition…”

“What _kind_ of competition?”

“The kind where everyone in the family is going to try and get you to accept a birthday gift. The first one you accept is the winner, and you’ve officially come back into the fold.”

“….Fuck.”

* * *

“I hear it’s your birthday, ya big lug.”

Great. Now he’s being harassed while out grocery shopping. Clutching his basket of food closer, Jason prayed for patience before turning around and looking at Harper Row. “Whoever told you that was lying,” he said.

Harper looked like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to laugh or scoff. “I’ll be sure to tell Alfred that,” she snarked back and _ouch_ \- She really knew where to hit him hard. “Anyways, I already gave Alfred his gift, so…” she held out a little red box with a white bow on top.

“Happy birthday.”

Now, Jason didn’t mind Harper. Not really. They never really hung out or talked, and as far as Jason knew she hadn’t really done anything to piss him off. Hell, she wasn’t even a Robin which went _miles_ in his book. But then Tim’s warning this morning about the competition rang through his head and Jason would be damned before he lets anyone of the Batfamily think he’s one of them.

So without a word, he took the box out of her hand (she seemed genuinely surprised at that) then turned right around and found a little kid about 5 standing a little bit down the aisle.

“Happy birthday, buddy,” he smiled widely at the little boy and held out the box,“ Here’s a gift from the Red Hood, okay?” The little boy, staring up at him with wide awed eyes, clutched the red present to his chest before running off yelling,“ Mommy! The Red Hood gave me a present!”

Jason sauntered off out of the aisle -wouldn’t do to have the mom come back and find him- with Harper on his heels.

“You know there was a taser in there, right?” she asked skeptically.

* * *

“Here.”

Well, it wasn’t the rudest way in which someone’s shoved something in his face, but it was pretty far up there. Damian 'Demon Brat’ Wayne looked like he’d be anywhere else when he sat down on the city bus with Jason and held out a perfectly wrapped present.

Jason Todd never thought he’d see the day in which Damian would willingly ride public transportation.

“Nope,” he said, largely ignoring the present being shoved in his face.

The scowl on the kid’s face was highly amusing though. “Just accept the damn gift,” he snarled at him.

“Language,” Jason found himself retorting before really realizing it,“ And I’m not taking it. I know about your guys’ stupid contest and I’m not having any part of it.”

Damian was oddly silent.

Incensed, Jason’s scowl was even more impressive. “You guys seriously think you can just _buy_ me back with some stupid things on my birthday and pretend like the past nine years hasn’t happened? I know Dick’s an idiot, but I expected better of the rest of you.”

Damian still didn’t say anything and for five city blocks, their bus ride continued in silence.

When they came to the next bus stop, the brat stood up and walked off without another word. _'Huh, not even an argument for once?’_ Jason thought. It was odd, for sure, but he decided to count his blessings and not dwell on it.

* * *

All he saw was a hint of yellow, a smidgen of black…

…and the instant Jason saw Signal drop down in front of him, he threw a brick at his head.

* * *

There was another box sitting in front of his door when he got home. This time, it was big and bright and blue. He didn’t even have to look at the tag to know it came from Dick. He sighed, a put upon sigh that rattled down to his bones, and nudged the box away from his door with his foot, just like he’d done for Bruce’s.

It was large and bright and had it been just a square foot bigger, he would’ve half expected Dick Grayson to have squeezed himself inside only to pop out with a confetti gun like some kind of smiley jack-in-the-box.

He really wouldn’t put it past Dick.

So he dug his grocery receipt out of his pocket and a marker. And just like he did for Bruce’s, he wrote **FREE** on the back of the paper, shoved it under the ribbon so it wouldn’t blow away, and left it there in the hallway.

* * *

Inside his apartment is….

Well, the first thing Jason noticed was the smell of something herbal and sweet. He knew that smell. And he knew for a fact he didn’t have any Oolong tea in his cupboards.

“Ah, I see you’ve returned with groceries, Master Jason,” came Alfred’s voice from the kitchen,“ I hope you remembered to get milk. It would appear you are out.”

Wide eyed, confused, and just a little bit apprehensive, Jason stepped into his own kitchen. And yep, he wasn’t hallucinating. There was Alfred, black suit and all, with a pot of water boiling on the stove, Jason’s tea pot sitting on the counter, and a mug of tea in his hands.

Also spread out on the counter was a number of baking ingredients such as flour and sugar.

Jason set his bags down on the table, staring at Alfred. “What…” his voice squeaked and he cleared his throat,“ What are you doing here, Alfred?”

“It’s my birthday, and I have the day off,” Alfred answered in his usual no-nonsense tone, as if Jason had asked him what the weather was like outside. Then he poured some tea into another mug that Jason hadn’t even realized was there. “Tea?” he held it out to him.

Still baffled, but he did love Alfred’s Oolong tea, and well… he did love Alfred, Jason silently took the cup from him.

Alfred waited until Jason took his first long sip before saying,“ Happy birthday, Master Jason.”

“Not you too!” Jason groaned.

There was a smile on Alfred’s face as he sipped his own tea before setting the cup down on the counter. “Do you know why I’m here, Master Jason?” he asked. Alfred apparently decided to busy himself with unbagging Jason’s groceries while said man tried to come up with an answer.

“Because you’re in on this competition too?” he guessed sourly.

Pulling out the milk and a couple cans of soup, Alfred replied succinctly,“ Because what I want for my birthday is to spend the day with my grandson on his own birthday.”

…“I’m not really your grandson,” Jason mumbled into his tea. His face was red and he felt warm and cozy inside, but he tried to not let it go to his head. He wasn’t really Alfred’s family. He wasn’t really _anybody_ ’s family. Family’s not exactly his forte and time has proven multiple times that Jason Todd’s never really been good at the whole thing.

Alfred shot him a look like he wanted to prove him wrong. “And do you know why everyone is insisting on giving you birthday gifts?” he asked instead.

“Because they want to win the contest?”

“Yes and no.”

Great, a cryptic answer. Jason’s favorite.

“Because they’re a bunch of competitive fools who are bored out of their minds, so Dick and Steph came up with this stupid contest that will occupy them for a day, then everyone will go on with their lives like today never happened,” Jason haphazarded a guess.

Alfred very nearly rolled his eyes, but they lit up in surprise when he pulled something unexpected out of one of the grocery bags. “Hello, what is this?”

It was a little white box with yellow ribbon, professionally wrapped, and Jason recognized it immediately. “That little brat!” he exclaimed,“ He must’ve snuck it into my bag on the bus!”

That would finally explain why Damian left without a fight.

With the knowing little twinkle back in his eye, Alfred set the present down and turned to Jason. “They want to celebrate your birthday because they _care_ , Master Jason,” he finally said,“ Yes, there are sadly few in this family who are any good at actually talking to each other, but you must understand that everyone, Master Bruce especially, do things for each other because it’s the only way they can show that they care.”

Jason opened his mouth to argue, but didn’t dare interrupt Alfred. “They try to give you gifts because they know you won’t accept an invitation to a family dinner,” Alfred continued,“ Master Bruce gives practical gifts because he wants all of you to be safe. Master Dick gives hugs because to him, physical contact is how he shows his love. Master Tim doesn’t get gifts for people, but he will set aside time to spend with those he cares for. And for this…” He held up Damian’s little gift,“ While yes there is a competition going on, Master Damian snuck this into your bag not because he wanted to win some silly challenge, but because he simply wanted you to have it.”

“But even more importantly, you must know this: What is the reward at the end of this contest?”

Significantly cowed, Jason sipped his tea and thought. He never really thought of it in that way. That other people showed the way they cared in different ways.

But it was still a hard pill to swallow.

“Bragging rights?” he replied, more of a quiet question than an answer.

But even still, Alfred smiled at him,“ No my dear boy. They get _you_. That’s why they try so hard, because they want you know you’re still part of the family.”

**Author's Note:**

> Anybody see the examples of how everyone gave a gift to Jason exactly the way Alfred predicted?


End file.
